Home is Where The Heart is

So in 2 weeks time I’ll be back in Manila… this time for good (again).

Of course I’m happy because I’ll be where I felt I really belong. However, I feel sad at the same time, which I’m trying not to be. For the past 4-5 months I stayed here - the longest time I’ve stayed since highshool - I’ve gone comfortable of referring to it my home again. Where everything is so accessible in the means of distance. Where everything is in your reach, I believe. When I want to go out with my friends, they will be there or we’ll meet up somewhere in an instant - there’s no traffic; their homes aren’t that far too. I’ll miss our low cost hang outs where we we can spend as low as only 2 for our drinks and probably 20 for our uber. All in all that’s only less than 25 ~ 350 pesos, if converted. That’s pretty cheap if u ask me. It can possibly cost less than that.

In short, I’ll miss the weather and the company. It took me a while for it to feel home again just because I’ve grown closer to the Philippines after I graduated highshool.

Doha, you’ve been great. I’ll be back soon. I’ll always miss the country I’m not in, whether it be Qatar or The Philippines.

It’s currently 22 minutes past 2 in the morning as I’m typing down this random entry. Sometimes I miss talking to someone about my day. For instance, about how my whole day was with the family.

Yesterday was packed with itineraries spent with my brother. He arrived 5 am yesterday from Manila and we headed straight to the park after ordering a take out breakfast of Mcdo and karak. We took loads of pictures and did I mention? It was freaking freezing. Well, it was for me. It was 16 degrees! It hasn’t been that low since winter season started so I got a bit surprised. We got home by 7 am to fix our things and pack up for our staycation in a hotel. After an hour or so, we stopped by a mall to eat lunch and buy some stuff from Pull & Bear. After having different food from different fast food and eating most of it, we headed to the hotel. After settling a bit, I took a quick nap - 30 minute power nap before we once again go to the park. That time we met up with our close colleagues of my mom to have a “shoot”. It was fun, we were literally chasing the sun before it sets to take advantage its softer lighting. We then headed to our dinner with a close family friend at TGI Friday’s. Stories and gift were exchanged. By 8:30, we decided to watch Aquaman’s 8:50 screentime so we did and it lasted til before 11, I think. Now, I’m still awake because I just finished a work I did for the business I help with for their social media’s Christmas post. 

Okay, I think I’ll go ahead and put my self to slumber now because I have to wake up in 3 hrs and go out with my brother to take more pictures. He’s here for only 2 whole days though that’s why our itineraries are packed. G’night!

2019, you’re going to be the bomb.

So, I learned that Kodaline and The 1975 are coming to Manila next year. In separate dates, of course. The moment I learned they’re coming over, there’s no doubt that I will be there. Kodaline will perform just near our place so I don’t really care if I’ll attend it alone. Going home won’t be a hassle at all. The 1975, on the other hand, I’ve already seen thrice last 2014 (2x) and 2016. I don’t mind seeing them the fourth time; they are that good in my opinion! Especially with their latest album, they’ve really slayed it! Definitely, ending this year with a bang. I’ll probably attend it alone, but I try not to mind since I’ve been to concerts and I realized it’s not that bad to go alone instead of not attending at all.

~ Defense Mechanism Thing ~

I’m writing again.

It can only mean either of these two things: I’m starting to fall in love or I’m getting sad.

Right now, I’m not entirely sure which side I’m on. Perhaps, I lean towards more on the second one. The weather is rather chilly tonight compared to the preivous nights. I chose not to wear a hoodie because I wanted to embrace the cold wind. I’d want to get used to it (more). I’m detaching myself again to everything / everyone - trying not to depend on anyone. Putting my guard up from anyone trying to break down my walls ever again. It’s my defense mechanism thing.

Lock your feelings in a treasure chest. Bury it at night, when it’s dark so that when daylight comes you won’t remember where you placed it. Bury it deep so there’s no chance you’ll ever find it. In that way, you will (hopefully) forget all about it - that you even had the heart again to feel again.

And, ladies and gents, that’s how you shove away any ounce of feelings you’re beginning to have.